May 26, 2004
Practicalities
Our mental health services suck. Stew's psychiatrist fired him -- wanted him to get more regular oversight of his meds than he could afford to go to her for -- he has a therapist he sees, and all he needed from her was scrips. But no, she wanted him to get more ongoing care, so she fired him.
Try telling someone who’s depressed and has borderline personality disorder and recurring demons accompanying the paranoid schizophrenia that people aren't avoiding you when even your psychiatrist sends a Dear John letter.
Anyway, she recommended Compass. They offer services on a sliding scale. Hah! We went there yesterday -- he was terrified, so I went along. We met with their office manager. He would, if eligible to be seen there for med management, be responsible for 50% of the cost, which can be $150 to $200 for a visit. He has no insurance of course. No DSHS. His private disability will be running out before long. Of what he gets a large chunk goes for meds and therapy/psych. The rest is supposed to cover rent, food, living expenses . . . . well, it doesn't. Anyway, so they say DSHS says he makes way too much money to qualify for med coupons.
They even sat there and told him he's one of the people who "fall through the cracks." And why? He has too much money coming in. Not enough to live on, of course. And when will be he eligible for more services? When he's homeless on the streets and the private disability checks stop. Then he can get help. Until then, they say get some private insurance. Uh huh. Sucks. I figure it's up to us to just make sure he can create and keep an income coming in, but getting there is a bit of a pain in the ass. Working on it though. I know it's possible for him to make enough money to support himself, we just have to get the right thing going and keep him at it. Some days I feel like opening my own vocational rehab. That's me. Vocational rehab, onsite support, ongoing personalized therapy.
Overloaded. Yes. So I'll deal. But sometimes, just sometimes, I get this feeling that if I'm not doing everything for everyone, that if I have my own problems, that if I need something from someone, that no one will love me anymore. And that sucks. And I'm told it's not even true, that I don't have to do more than everyone else to be thought half as good. I don't know why that's stuck in my head as solidly as it is though.
Yeah, I'm getting better at giving it up to someone higher up -- learning to trust that what is supposed to happen will happen, and that it's in someone's control who's better at this stuff than I am. Slow process for me, but I'm working on it.
Our mental health services suck. Stew's psychiatrist fired him -- wanted him to get more regular oversight of his meds than he could afford to go to her for -- he has a therapist he sees, and all he needed from her was scrips. But no, she wanted him to get more ongoing care, so she fired him.
Try telling someone who’s depressed and has borderline personality disorder and recurring demons accompanying the paranoid schizophrenia that people aren't avoiding you when even your psychiatrist sends a Dear John letter.
Anyway, she recommended Compass. They offer services on a sliding scale. Hah! We went there yesterday -- he was terrified, so I went along. We met with their office manager. He would, if eligible to be seen there for med management, be responsible for 50% of the cost, which can be $150 to $200 for a visit. He has no insurance of course. No DSHS. His private disability will be running out before long. Of what he gets a large chunk goes for meds and therapy/psych. The rest is supposed to cover rent, food, living expenses . . . . well, it doesn't. Anyway, so they say DSHS says he makes way too much money to qualify for med coupons.
They even sat there and told him he's one of the people who "fall through the cracks." And why? He has too much money coming in. Not enough to live on, of course. And when will be he eligible for more services? When he's homeless on the streets and the private disability checks stop. Then he can get help. Until then, they say get some private insurance. Uh huh. Sucks. I figure it's up to us to just make sure he can create and keep an income coming in, but getting there is a bit of a pain in the ass. Working on it though. I know it's possible for him to make enough money to support himself, we just have to get the right thing going and keep him at it. Some days I feel like opening my own vocational rehab. That's me. Vocational rehab, onsite support, ongoing personalized therapy.
Overloaded. Yes. So I'll deal. But sometimes, just sometimes, I get this feeling that if I'm not doing everything for everyone, that if I have my own problems, that if I need something from someone, that no one will love me anymore. And that sucks. And I'm told it's not even true, that I don't have to do more than everyone else to be thought half as good. I don't know why that's stuck in my head as solidly as it is though.
Yeah, I'm getting better at giving it up to someone higher up -- learning to trust that what is supposed to happen will happen, and that it's in someone's control who's better at this stuff than I am. Slow process for me, but I'm working on it.
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